Daily Archives: October 15, 2013
Hold You In My Heart
It amazing how much I can fall in love with you from just the very second of knowing you existed. My mind was having the time of its life planning out how to make room for you, thinking about when to move Lily downstairs into her new room, picturing you playing with your sister and causing so much trouble together, and imagining our house more full with laughter. For 37 days we loved you and our love for you grew stronger each day, even though I didn’t know that you were getting weaker. Our excitement and joy awaiting, preparing, and planning for you, our second miracle, suddenly got cut short, and in an instant, my angel was gone. How can my heart be filled with so much joy suddenly be filled with so much pain and emptiness? I couldn’t understand why you had to go and I never will. Sadness consumed me when my body was suddenly empty, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. I cried myself to sleep many nights, blamed myself, went into denial that you weren’t really gone, and felt so much pain. It’s now been 19 days since we lost you. I want to let you know that I love you so much and will never forget you. Our tears have been shed not only by us, but by our friends and family, your friends and family. We all have lost you, and we all will miss you. Even though you are gone for now, I feel your soul will come back to us again, and I hope it’s soon. As each day passes, my heart slowly starts to heal. Your daddy and I will never give up, and we will keep trying and hope that we will soon reunite again. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and so tonight we light a candle for you. I first fell in love with you in my womb, and instead of holding you in my arms, I will always hold you in my heart.
