Category Archives: Khoackie Adventures

Leo Gets Baptized!

May your life be blessed with love and joy
May angels guide you from above
May your heart be kind your spirit strong to see the good and right some wrong
May the world be a better place because you came and shared some space.

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Congratulations to my precious Leo on his Baptism this past weekend on July 25, 2015!  There was a time when we thought we’d had to learn how to baptize you at the hospital right after birth because we were told that it would be too late to wait for a priest to come and do it.  There was a time when we didn’t even think you’d make it past a few hours of life, let alone make it to birth.  Fast forward to the present, at almost 7 weeks old, we are now able to have a proper and private baptism, and celebrate your Ngày Đầy Tháng and Homecoming celebration.  Thinking about the journey you’ve been through, how much you’re endured and overcome, makes me very emotional and overwhelmed with appreciation and gratefulness.  Thank you so much to Father Kiet for coming back to St. Norbert Catholic Church to baptize our baby Leo!  The baptism was bilingual (mostly Vietnamese) but also very intimate.  I am happy that we got to have a special private baptism just for our baby Leo.

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We then had a celebration at home for Leo’s Ngày Đầy Tháng and Homecoming!  Before the Baptism, our family came over to celebrate with us, and our friends came over afterwards.  Since we didn’t have a big fancy baby shower for Leo, I decided to go all out for his celebration.  I made all the decorations myself, and bought flowers from our local flower shop at Visser’s Florist.  I also made all the desserts myself minus the cake which we got from our usual bakery, Givral.  I decorated the cake though, and made panna cotta with fresh strawberries, kiwi and blueberries, mini chocolate cupcakes with swiss meringue frosting, vanilla macarons, orange blossom macarons, matcha green tea macarons, and strawberries filled with whipped cream cheese frosting.  I also had Leo’s announcements printed out for everyone to take during the party!  Special thanks to the wonderful Mieng for photographing the amazing photos of my precious Leo!!

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Special thanks to our cousin Steve for being Leo’s Godfather!  We know Leo will be in great hands and that Steve will do a wonderful job loving our Leo and guiding him through his journey with God.  Thank you so much for being there for our son and for all that you will do for him in the future!  Thank you to all of our friends and family who came to love and support our baby Leo as well.  Leo is so lucky to have all of you in his life.  We love you all!LeoAndGodFatherSteve

My little prince Leo, I am so in love with you and so proud of you.  You are so amazing in your strength and you are such an inspiration to watch.  You’re such an incredible baby and I can’t wait to watch you grow even stronger, smarter, more brave, and healthier!  I know you will grow up to be an amazing man, but until then, I will enjoy you being my precious little baby.  I love you so much my wonderful baby Leo, congratulations on your baptism and everything you’ve accomplished so far!

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Thank you Leilani and Kenny for taking pictures for me!  See more pictures from the festivities HERE.

Leo’s Homecoming!

Home is wherever I am with you.

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Since the last update, a lot has happened. After a few days of making such progress, on Friday June 26th, Leo started to slow down on his feeds and started to finish only half of his bottles and sometimes less. Friday night he even had to gavage one of his entire feedings because the nurse thought it would be best to give him a break and let him rest. I felt saddened by this because I feared he would be regressing again and the prospect of him coming home was within reach and now I felt like it’s so far away again. I also felt like because of his move to the new room, maybe the new nurses aren’t as familiar with his situation and decided to go easy on him rather than trying harder to see what he’s capable of. Overall it was just very frustrating. The next day he continued to do about half or less than half his feeds and he would just be unmotivated to continue eating. The GI doctors told us the next day that they will reconsider the gtube again and that on Monday they will have a meeting to schedule the surgery and plan a course of action for Leo.

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Leo 3 Weeks Old

Hearing that made me devastated because of my hope for my little Leo to be home keeps getting bounced around and I can’t seem to get a firm hold on it. I didn’t understand why he suddenly didn’t feed as well, there could have been many variables and many reasons, but I had no answers. The unknown is frustrating and the unknown of the future is even more frustrating and stressful. All I knew was what was happening at the current moment and I wish I could do something to help him, but I felt so powerless. How could he go from almost removing his feeding tube to the possibility of a gtube? It’s so hard and stressful. I wish I can take away his struggles and give him the best life possible. I know he’s doing the best he can though, so I am proud of him regardless.

Here is a video of Leo (3 wks old) smiling in his sleep! His arm broke free from the swaddle too and he just looks so cozy and comfy. I can watch him sleep all day. I bet he’s dreaming about coming home to his mommy! He looks so happy and peaceful; it warms my heart! I love you Leo so much!

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Leo having sweet dreams.

Sunday he continues to take less than half his feeds, but then come monday morning, he finally finished an entire bottle again!! My dear Leo, you are so unpredictable and sure like to play with your mommy’s emotions! He then continued to finish more than half his feeds and finished a couple more bottles on his own! One of the GI doctors came by and asked me how Leo was doing and told me that Leo’s feeding tube is probably very uncomfortable and told me I should just pull it out. I thought he was joking, but he said he was serious and that he doesn’t need the feeding tube anymore! I was in shock and asked “Are you sure…right now?” So he went to confirm with his Neonatologist (Dr. Bixby, also from Hoag!) and a couple hours later, I got to witness them take Leo’s feeding tube out! It was really quick, only a few seconds once they got the tape removed from his cheek, but those few seconds made such a big difference in Leo’s accomplishment as well as his comfort. I was so happy for him and in disbelief at the same time! They’ve been telling us that he had to finish all his bottles for at least 48 hours before he can have the tube removed but he only did it for maybe half a day and the tube is now gone…I’m so confused but I will celebrate anyways!

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No more feeding tube!

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Leo & Mommy

The next few days, the plan is to have him on a quota where he needs to finish a minimum amount of milk by the end of each shift (12 hours). If he keeps this up for a few days, then he can come home, and if he’s unable to reach his quota and start to slip again, then they will schedule the surgery for the gtube. I like the quota system a lot better because if he doesn’t finish a bottle in one feeding, he’s given the chance to make up for it in the next feedings. This seems much more natural and a lot less stressful and pressure for him to finish. Leo did really great and surpassed his quota each night and we started hearing talks about Leo being discharged! It’s a good sign when they start giving you papers to sign!  Dr. Bixby (one of his Neonatologist) said that Leo’s weight gain isn’t where it should be on the curve, but that could be due to his underlying chromosome disorder, but as long as he’s making his own progress then it’s ok, and it won’t keep him in NICU longer than necessary. His pediatrician and genetecists with be monitoring his weight gain once he’s out of NICU.  As of Thursday July 2nd, he weighs 6 pounds 3 ounces!

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Stay with me mommy.

LeoWLeadsLastTimeOn Thursday, the nurse told me that the GI specialists feels like there’s no need for Leo to be in NICU anymore but the Neonatologist on call, Dr. Sun, wanted to give Leo another day to make sure he’s feeding consistently.  The nurse started to check things off the list to get ready for discharge and had me sign a couple documents too.  I had to make sure I didn’t get too excited due in case something changes.  The emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on have been crazy and so I wanted to try to keep my emotions in check and not get too carried away.  However, all I can think about is the possibility of my Leo coming home the very next day.  Well, it is now Friday and we came in and the nurse said Leo will be discharged today!  The word “discharged” has never sounded so good to me ever!!  Haha!  I still tried really hard to keep my cool, I’ll jump for joy once I leave the hospital with him by my side.  The nurse went over some documents and things we need to follow up on once we leave the hospital, and we finished signing all the discharge papers.  After he leaves the hospital, we just have to do his hearing test (since he failed it in his left ear) and bilateral hydronephrosis ultrasound follow up (due to fluids in his kidney) follow up along with his usual pediatrician and geneticist appointments.  We had to wait for his medication to be filled at the Choc Pharmacy and then a volunteer will take us and Leo down to pick up his medication (Prevacid for his reflux) and then we can go home from there!  We got to take off all his leads and wires, he was finally free!  I put his Little Ass Kicker onesie on him that I purposely bought for this occasion, and then we waited.  It was an anxious wait but after a half hour, the volunteer finally came.  We had to put Leo in his carseat and then we put that in the wagon that the volunteer will use to transport Leo.  We got down to the basement level where the pharmacy is, and while waiting at the counter to pick up Leo’s medication, I got teary eyed because I can’t believe this is happening, and that my Leo is finally coming home!  Once we got to the parking lot, we got to put him into the car and we were ready to go home!!

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He was so alert during the whole transport to the pharmacy and then to the car.  It was so cute because he was so calm and just sort of looked around at all the new surroundings.  I realized that he hasn’t really seen much of the world besides the NICU and the hallways of the hospitals and inside an ambulance.  I can’t wait to show him all the wonders of the world and go on many wonderful adventures with him.  I sat in the back seat next to my precious Leo and held his tiny hand and watched him slowly fall asleep.  We started our drive home and I just got so overwhelmed with happiness that tears started to flood my eyes and stream out of my eyes, I started to cry tears of joy.  All my feelings of anxiety, stress, and worry just came pouring out of me and I felt a renewed sense of relief, serenity, and happiness.  My heart feels so much fuller and so much lighter.  I still can’t believe that this day is finally here.  I waited 27 long hard days for this day.  It’s been such a rough, crazy, and emotional journey.  I’m just so happy that I can finally start living my life with my Leo.  I’m so proud of my little prince, he is such a brave little fighter.  He’s definitely beating all the odds and will continue to leap over hurdles and show the world how amazing he is for the rest of his wonderful life.  I love you so much Leo, you make me and everyone around us so happy!  Welcome home my sweet precious Leo!

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My heart’s at home when my hand is holding yours.

Happy 3rd Birthday Lily!

Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet wonderful Lily pad! Lily weighs 27 pounds (only gained 4 pounds this entire year) and is 37 inches tall, both in the 13th percentile range.  Her hemoglobin levels dropped from last year down to 11.3, on the low side so she needs to have more iron intake, more fish it is!!  Haha.  There’s actually a lot of foods rich in iron like red meats, pork, poultry, seafood, beans, dark leafy greens, dried fruits, and certain cereals breads and pastas!  She pretty much just needs to eat more in general, but she’s so energetic she just runs around and burns it all off.  Less play, more eating Lily haha! She’s small for her age but definitely big in personality and maturity.  She’s so smart, spunky, and sassy and is constantly surprising us with her level of understanding and awareness of our world. (Thank you so much Mieng for these beautiful pictures of my Lily pad!!)

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A couple weekends before her birthday, we had a small lunch at Favori with both of our immediate families to celebrate Lily’s birthday since we didn’t throw Lily a party this year.  Then on her birthday weekend, we took her Balboa beach where there is this nice little playground on the sand that Lily likes to play at.  She loves to climb up the ladders now and go down the big kid’s swirly slide and repeat those things all day long!  She also likes to look at the water and run towards it and away from it, over and over again.  Digging in the sand for hidden treasures is also a favorite beach activity of hers and pointing out all the seagulls and birds that fly by as well.

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As you all know, Lily’s little brother Leo made his special and amazing arrival the day before her birthday.  So unfortunately we couldn’t continue her birthday weekend as planned, but I still wanted to make sure I do something special on her actual birthday.  I told Khoa to bring some presents that I had for her to the hospital, to let her open and I also made her a cake that is her favorite by far!  She doesn’t really eat cake or cupcakes much, so I decided to fill a glass with her favorite sweets, crispy M&Ms, skittles, and red vines and stuck a sparkly candle on top!  I’m pretty sure the hospital would not approve of the open flames…but we did it quick so they don’t know, and we were safe about it haha.  Plus, Lily LOVED it and that made me super happy.  Her face lit up when she saw the bowl of candy and she was even more excited when she saw how sparkly the candle was!  So that was a big success!

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Thank you to everyone who sent her birthday presents as well!  I’m so touched by everyone who took the time to remember Lily’s birthday and shower her with love even though you can’t be here in person to see her and celebrate with her.  This birthday is special, not just because she got a new baby brother!!  So it was very important to me to make sure to make her feel loved and special even though there’s this new amazing change in all our lives.  So thank you everyone for helping me make her feel special.  I know it’s just presents, but to a little 3 year old, it’s much more than that.

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We had a special celebration at LePort for Lily’s birthday as well, and we brought in fruit filled cookies from Trader Joe’s and cut up some strawberries for the kids for the special snack.    I also bought some minion themed party favors to pass out to the kids as well since Lily loves minions right now!  I bought plastic favor cups, bubble wands, super bouncy balls, stickers, and organic fruit snacks.  I made thank you favor tags as well and tied them to the bubble wands with yellow ribbon to complete the package!  Lily and her friends loved them!  It was really cute and impressive to watch Lily set up the table for snack time and sit at the table and eat her snacks so well.  She was so good at cleaning up after herself and then saying goodbye to us without a fight!  I was so impressed with her maturity, it made me proud and also a little emotional that she’s growing up so fast.

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I cannot believe my precious Lily pad is now 3 years old!  Seeing my Lily pad happy makes me so happy, and knowing that I was a part of making her happy, just makes me feel so wonderful inside.  I feel like she’s so smart and advance for a three year old, she speaks so well with multiple complete sentences and has such a wide range of vocabulary.  She is so observant of her surroundings and is so intuitive to emotions as well.  She’s majorly sweet and is a naturally caring and nurturing person, proven by the way she treats her baby brother Leo.  I cannot be more proud of my Lily pad and I look forward to watching her continue to grow into such a beautiful lady, both inside and out.  I love you soooo much Lily, you light up my life, you make me and your daddy so happy, you are so amazing and beautiful, you are everything worth living for my love.  Happy 3rd Birthday my precious Lily pad!!  You can see more pictures from Lily’s birthday festivities HERE!  Below is also a video I made of some fun happy silly loving moments with Lily in the past year!! Enjoy!

Our Little Prince Leo Has Arrived!

LeoDinhNgoAfter such a long journey, our precious sweet little prince Leo Dinh Ngo is finally here on June 7, 2015, at 4:59pm, weighing 5 lbs 5 oz, and measures 18 inches long! Once again, this entry will document my whole labor experience, so if you don’t want to know the details, then just enjoy the pictures, and don’t worry about the text. After all, this blog is for Leo to read one day, so for us to reminisce on our adventures together!

After experiencing 3 false alarms, I decided to wait it out a little longer before going into the hospital, since I really did not want to be sent home again if the contractions decided to ease off (or Leo decided it was too comfy in my belly and didn’t want to come out).  I started to get pretty consistent contractions around midnight of June 7th, and so I started to track them on my phone with a contractions tracking app.  After 2 hours of tracking, they were consistently happening every 7-10 minutes sometimes 4-5 minutes too.  I was still worried they would stop being consistent so I stuck it out for another hour but I told Khoa to get ready because I feel (and hoped) that this would be the real deal.  So finally after 3.5 hours of tracking, I decided to go.  We got to the hospital around 4am, with Lily, and we got settled in and they tracked me for an hour.  My last appointment with my OB showed that I was 3cm dilated, but when I got to the hospital, the on call doctor said I was only 2cm dilated.  You can’t go backwards but I guess the hospital doctor was more strict with her measurements…who knows.  So by the end of the hour, she said I’m close to 3cm, so because I showed progress and I had consistent contractions, they finally decided that I’m indeed in labor!!  Finally!!

LeoContractionsWe got admitted to our labor and deliver room, and Lily was really sweet and kept popping her head up from the pull out bed that she was laying on with Khoa, and would just look at me with concerning eyes, to make sure that I was ok.  She’s such a sweetheart.  Soon enough, her and Khoa fell asleep, and I eventually went to sleep for a bit too.  The nurses would come in now and then to see if I needed anything and asked if the pain level increased or anything.  The contractions definitely became more frequent, but they didn’t really get more painful, and so it was just a waiting game.  Around 11am, they broke my water and that must be the most unpleasant part of this whole labor experience in my opinion haha.  So after they broke my water, the contractions actually started to slow down!  That was really strange, so they nurse gave me pitocin to increase my contractions, and eventually that worked and the contractions definitely started to get more painful and I finally asked for the epidural around 2pm.  At that point I still measured 3cm, they noticed that Leo’s heart rate would decrease every time I get a contraction, but they said it was a variable decrease in heart rate so they had a feeling that his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck.  So they had to do an anmio transfusion and put some fluids back into me so relax the cord to take pressure off his neck.  How scary does that sound??  The nurses and doctor seemed pretty casual about the whole thing so it must have been a common thing so that helped me not freak out…  They also made me wear an oxygen mask, like with Lily too, to help increase oxygen flow to Leo as well.

By 3:30ish, I felt like I could feel the tightening of my stomach, like as if I can feel the contractions again, so I told the nurse and she gave me another small dosage of the epidural.  However, around 4ish, I felt like I can feel the contractions again but a little stronger this time.  The nurses didn’t want to give me more epidural in case I get too numb and can’t push, but they said that I shouldn’t be feeling the contractions and that it should only be pressure.  However, I know my body and what I was feeling was not just pressure and turns out, it was my body getting ready and to push Leo out!  LeoGoldenHourSo the doctor checked and I was already 9.5cm!  She asked me to give a test push and what do you know, she said it’s time to push for real!  So she called all the staff members that need to be there for when Leo’s here so they can all be ready to examine Leo and get ready for his care.  There were at least 8 doctors and nurses from various departments, so many people all ready to take care of our Leo!  Once everyone arrived, the doctor told me to start pushing when the first contraction came.  So I did and one of the nurses thought maybe Leo will be here on the 2nd contraction but the doctor said “nope, he’s here now!” and I looked at Khoa with an expression on my face like “is that true?” since I can’t see anything down there, and next thing I knew, they were handing me Leo to hold!  My Leo, my rainbow baby, you are finally here in my arms!!

LeoFeetI could not believe how quick that was, it must have been about a minute!  I was in more disbelief that our precious Leo is finally here and that I’m holding him in my arms and I can hear his beautiful cry of life.  Tears of joy started streaming down my face as I cried with my Leo.  My heart was filled with so much joy and happiness.  I’ve been waiting for this day for almost 2 years now and after the crazy roller coaster we’ve been on to end, so that we can start a new adventure that included our Leo, and finally the wait is over.   It was such a blur; I remember people checking him, listening to his heart while I’m holding him and looking into his eyes and ears and then Khoa cutting the cord and then they quickly take him aside for a couple mins for further examination and then they handed him right back to me.  They told me they’ll let me have my golden hour with him and then they will bring him to NICU for further examination, testings, and care.  So for a whole hour, it was in eternal bliss.  I just held my Leo close, skin to skin, and savored each breathe he took, absorbed his warmth, lost myself in his little baby noises, and counted my lucky stars for having this special day.

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ToLilyFromLeoEventually I got moved to my recovery room, which happened to be on the same floor as the NICU, so Leo was only 50 feet away from me across the hall.    Before I did that, I got some presents ahead of time, and surprised Lily with them in our room, and told her that these are presents from her new baby brother Leo!  So she said “from Leo?  Oh thank you!”  She loved it all and started to draw in the notepad and play with the snap bracelet and the minion flash light glow toy too.  I wanted to do this for her so that she can feel special and loved even while all this stuff is happening with Leo, I want this to be a fun event for her so that she doesn’t get jealous of her new brother.  So far I think it’s working!  Once I got settled to my room, I got to visit Leo in NICU.  They had him all nice and cozy in his incubator since his body temperature was a little low.  They told us that he had his first feeding (he drinks a higher calorie formula called 22 Calorie Enfamil) and that he took the bottle all by himself too!  That was a major surprise and amazing news since we were expecting him to have feeding issues and would require a feeding tube since 41/42 babies with tetrasomy 18p had that problem.  I guess our Leo is just such a strong fight that he’s IMG_7070the 1 baby out of 42 that beat the odds!  I was so proud of my son and that was just the icing on the cake for me.  Even though he was in NICU, they provide the homiest environment for the babies, so I was still able to take him out and hold him whenever I want and he definitely looked very happy and comfortable.  On the 2nd night at the hospital, since Leo was doing so well with his feedings, they let him stay in our room.  I was so excited and Lily was super excited as well!  She insisted on helping with his feeding and at one point told me to let go of the bottle because she “got it” haha.

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Of course the last night of our stay, we had a nice celebratory dinner and I kept a bottle of the apple cider to drink when Leo turns 1 years old!  I did this with Lily and it’s cute to see how huge the bottle was when she was born and then how it looks like a normal size bottle to her a whole year later!  I can’t wait to do this for Leo.  It’s silly and small but it’s fun =).  Also, thank you to everyone who sent us flowers, balloons, drinks, snacks, and gifts for Leo and for everyone who took the time to come out and visit me and Leo at the hospital.  The flowers and balloons really helped make my room that much brighter and made me feel really special and loved.  I know Newport Beach is not very convenient for a lot of people, so it means a great deal to us and we are truly touched by all the love and support that we have received.  We also really appreciate all the phone calls and messages as well!  I got discharged the next day, but we found out that since Leo’s feeding on his own started to decrease, he had to go back to NICU and get a feeding tube to help him get the nutrients he needs to grow.  We were disappointed due to the emotional roller coaster we’ve been on throughout this journey, but we only want what is best for him and whatever care he needs, we want him to have it.  However, it was very saddening to be wheeled out of the hospital without my precious Leo in my arms, but I know that he will be in great hands in NICU and he will come home when he’s well and ready.  LeoHospitalFlowers

Leo’s Progress: He had a bunch a tests done, a heart ultrasound, renal ultrasound to measure his kidneys, hearing test, head scan, scrotal ultrasound, and a macro array chromosome test.  Most of the tests came back normal with nothing major to worry about.  The renal ultrasound showed fluid in his kidneys but there are no obstructions and the kidneys function normally so we just need to do a follow up ultrasound in a few weeks.  Normally people don’t do renal ultrasounds on newborns because organs are still developing so you normally wouldn’t see a completely normal renal ultrasound anyways.  Leo failed his hearing test but they feel that it could be due to fluids in his ear, so they taught me how to massage his ear and stroke his face to draw out the fluids from his ears.  He will be retested soon.  We are still waiting for the results for the macro array chromosome test and that usually takes about 2 weeks to get the results back.  All that being said, we are super thrilled that nothing major is found and that our Leo is physically great!  His stomach is still on the small side but other than that, he is exceeding all out expectations and I cannot be more proud of him.

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On day 4, Leo weighed 5lb 1oz, which is borderline to the 10% maximum of normal weight loss.  So whenever Leo doesn’t finish his required amount of milk his feeding, they will gavage (getting the formula to his stomach directly through the tube) the rest of his formula.  The occupational therapist taught us how to massage Leo’s mouth and gums to get him to nipple the bottle better, and to loosen his jaw cause she said it was really tight.  It really helped and for a couple days, he was doing so well and would finish most of his feedings.  He would drink enough cumulatively for that day that he didn’t need to gavage any of his feedings.  He did often get really sleepy halfway through or near the end of the feeding and we would have to burp him or unwrap him to wake him up to finish his feeding.  Each new day/shift, he would get an increase in the minimum amount of milk he would need to take.  When it finally got to a minimum of 45cc per feeding, he suddenly started to slow down on his feeds and not complete them, and they would have to gavage the rest of his feedings.  Before when he had a minimum of 35cc, he would sometimes go above and beyond and finish up to 45cc!  All of a sudden, he can barely finish 25cc out of 45cc, and he’s been throwing up at each feedings for a whole day now. He would be wide awake but he just won’t nipple the bottle.  The nurses and doctors say that his is due to the tetrasomy 18p and that feeding issues was a huge part of this.  I don’t understand why he was doing so well and now he’s not, but they told me that sometimes you have to get worse to get better.  He went from 97% of completing his daily feedings to 77%, to 55% to maybe 10-20%.  Leo has a smaller stomach too, so they feel that the increase in volume is too much for him and so that’s why he throws up.  So for now they’re only going to gavage his feedings, slowly in a span of an hour, to see how he takes it, allowing his stomach to digest the milk and make room for more, so that he doesn’t throw it up.  Then we will work on getting him to nipple again.  It will be a long journey, but I know he can get through it.

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Leo 1 Week Old

It’s very hard to keep it together and to stay strong for my little boy because this whole process has been an emotional roller coaster for all of us, and I feel very overwhelmed at time but these emotions.  Every time I see great progress, I get an immense amount of hope that goes along with it, hoping he will be able to come home soon and explore this great big world together with us.  However, when we start to see set backs, it’s saddening only because I want my little Leo to be okay, and I worry like any other mother would worry, about the well being of my boy.  The last couple days it seems like his feeding abilities have been getting “worse”, but it’s not his fault at all.  I know he is doing the best he can, and he just needs more time to reach the light at the end of the tunnel.  All we can do is wait for him to let us know what he is capable of, and be patient and encouraging along the way.  My little Leo has already beat so many odds to get to where he is now.  If we didn’t know his diagnosis, he would be like any other baby, but with the struggle of feeding, which is not a big deal at all in the grand scheme of things.  After every storm, there is a rainbow of hope, my Leo, my rainbow baby.  Overall he is healthy and I’m able to hold him close, feel the warmth of his body, listen to his cute little voice, and look into his brilliant bright eyes.  Even though things have been rough, just being able to be with my Leo makes me happy. He will have a long journey in NICU, but he will be in the best of care, and I cannot be more grateful to all his nurses and doctors there.  I am eager to have him home, but only when he is ready.  I miss him terribly when we are apart but luckily there’s a live stream camera that allows us to check on him whenever we want, so that helps a lot!
UsWithLeo

Here is a super sweet and cute video of Lily being such an amazingly loving big sister to her baby brother Leo!  She impresses me so much with her gentle compassion and it just fills my heart with so much love to see her so nurturing and caring to her baby brother.  I love my babies so much, you both are so amazing!

Stay strong my brave little Leo.  We love you so much and I know you are doing the very best you can!  No matter how long the rain lasts, there will be a rainbow in the end.  No matter how sad you may be, believe, that happiness is waiting.  Leo, you are my rainbow, but you shine brighter that all the colors in the world.  We will eagerly, yet patiently wait for your homecoming!

Full Term!

I’m so proud of my little prince Leo, he has made it to 37 weeks gestation and is officially full term!!  This means that it is safe for him to be delivered any time now, but of course the longer he cooks, the better, but at least there are much fewer risks now than if he were to be born preterm!  My fetal diagnostic on Thursday went well, his heart rate is still on the low end but overall it looks good and amniotic fluids is 21cm, a bit high but still within the normal range.  It’s probably high cause he’s so small so there’s lots of extra room in there haha.  I’ve been getting crazy painful uncomfortable contractions at night but it’s not consistent enough to go in… So I just have to hang in there until it’s consistent, but even then if it calms down after a couple hours, my OB said it’s better to go in to be safe than sorry cause if I wait too long I might miss my window for the epidural.  Last night the contractions were so bad I was like on my hands and knees and that was the only position that sorta helped A LITTLE BIT…haha.  It was like that for half an hour.  It’s crazy how every pregnancy is different cause it was so not painful AT ALL with Lily until after they broke my water and I was in crazy pain for just 20 mins before the epidural kicked in.  I think maybe also this time around, I’m just more aware too, cause most of the time the contractions just feel like tightening of my stomach, which is totally manageable.  However, I think the other uncomfortable part for me is the acid reflux at night.  So I tend to stay up super late to the point where I’m totally wiped so that when I lay down to sleep, I just pass out right away, otherwise I’ll feel the burning acid reflux.  Lately I’ve been woken up randomly in the middle of the night and throw up a little…not very pleasant.  This happened with lily too, so this isn’t a new experience for me.  The end is approaching so I can endure it for a lil longer.  That’s what they’ll tell you in birthing classes too, that there is an end to all this madness haha.  So I just have to keep focus on my light, my Leo, at the end of the tunnel, it’ll all be worth it!

My OBGYN also said my belly measures 32cm, normally whatever wk you are, that’s how big it should be, so it should measure 37cm.  However, last wk I was 33cm so I lost a cm but she said it’s probably cause the baby dropped lower, so that’s another sign that my body is getting ready to delivery.  She didn’t measure my cervix today so I don’t know how much more dilated and effaced I am but she will measure it on Thursday at my next appt.  Effaced means how much of the cervix thinned out, 100% means it’s ready for baby to come out and last week I was 70%.  My dr also said I can’t get induced until 39 wks, so in two weeks, but I have to be at least 4cm dilated and over 50% effaced, so last wk I was 2cm dilated so I’m close but not there yet.  She did say it can happen any day though, especially since I’m getting so many contractions, so we just have to wait and see!  This past month and a half has been so crazy nerve wrecking because of my risk of having preterm labor, but it’s such a relief now that we made it to full term.  The unknown is always so scaring because it’s out of your control, out of your reach, and you can’t do anything but wait.  Even with Leo’s special condition, we still won’t know how severe his situation will be, so we just have to continue to wait and see.  What I find helpful during the waiting process is to just distract myself with little side hobby projects, and do things that makes me happy.  That includes seeing friends and family as well as fun little activities and playtime with Lily.  It’s best to fill the waiting space of anticipation with active happiness and love.  All and all, I’m very glad we’ve made it to full term!!  Leo will be here soon enough, when the moment is right, only he will know.

FullTerm

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

Journey to meet my prince Leo continues…

 

Sprinkle for Leo

SprinkleForLeo

It’s the little moments that makes life big.  We decided to have a little sprinkle celebration for our little prince Leo.  Earlier this month we had a lunch dim sum celebration with our immediate families to celebrate the upcoming arrival of our baby boy, and yesterday we had a small intimate gathering with some friends at our house.  We didn’t want to do anything big or fancy, no gifts needed, no games or elaborate party decorations, we just wanted to enjoy the company of our great friends before the arrival of our second little bundle of joy.  However, I did want to have a small little dessert table, so I decided to make a little castle diaper cake for Leo for fun since I never made a diaper cake before, and I figured it’ll be cute to have a little castle for our little prince.  I also made koala bear mobile and block letters that spell out Leo’s name for Leo’s that will be used o decorate Leo’s crib area as well!  I like having practical and multi-functioning things, in this case, my crafts can be used as party display decorations and then decorations for Leo’s nursery corner in our room!  I made two flavors of macarons as well, matcha green tea and vanilla macarons.  We also bought a yummy cheesecake from costco as well and got to reuse the cake stand that my dad made for Lily’s 2nd birthday party last year!  The backdrop curtain I used to Leo’s dessert table display, was actually part of our laundry room curtains that I made awhile ago, hooray for being resourceful!  We frames Leo’s recent ultrasound photo for the center of the display as well and even though it’s the back side of his head and body, it’s a still a cute picture of our baby boy!

It is important to me that we celebrate the little moments, even when there’s nothing special about any given days, it’s what you make of it that makes it special.  I’m happy to know that one day I can show Leo how much is was already so loved before he even arrived, and that we took the time out of our busy crazy lives to celebrate this journey to meet him.  No matter what challenges we will face in the future, it won’t take away the love we all have for him.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to come out and celebrate Leo, it means a great deal to us.  it’s nice to know what we are not the only ones excited for Leo’s arrival.  Thank you all for the diapers as well!  We feel very grateful and blessed to have such wonderful friends and family who continually provide us with so much love and support for our precious baby Leo.  You can view more pictures HERE.

7MonthsLeoBump

7 Months Baby Bump

8MonthsLeoBump

8 Months Baby Bump

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.  Journey to meet our Leo prince continues…

Not Ready Yet

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”– Rocky Balboa

Who wouldn't want to see Leo wearing this going home from the hospital?

Who wouldn’t want to see Leo wearing this going home from the hospital?

For a while now, I started to get confident in our situation with Leo and feel like I’m ready to handle whatever comes our way.  I avoided shopping for clothes and things for Leo because we didn’t know what to expect in terms of life expectancy, but as time progressed, it seemed like we will be able to have a life with him.  So I started to shop for Leo and allowing myself to get excited for his arriving, especially when I picture him wearing the cute little onesies and everything.  We started to make plans for his arrival like picking out the perfect outfit for him to wear for when he leaves the hospital and getting ideas for his baptism/1 month party.  It made me happy to be able to think about those things and plan, and even buying swaddles blankets for him was exciting for me!

Then last Wednesday night, I started to spot a little bit, and a little bit in the morning.  So I called my OBGYN and they asked if I was experiencing and cramping or contractions too, and I said I was.  So they suggested I come in to L&D (Labor and Delivery) to get monitored to make sure I’m not going to preterm labor.  After 2 hours of monitoring, they picked up 3 contractions and the doctor told me there’s a high chance that I can go into preterm labor as soon as a week, or 5 weeks, or just any time now!  She said that babies with chromosome disorders have very little chance of survival if born premature, and she told me to talk to my doctors to discuss the game plan for if I do go into preterm labor.  It was very shocking to hear, especially when she asked me if the situation arises, if I’m “prepared to watch my baby die on the screen”, or in the incubator, or in your arms, as our options if we go into preterm labor.  It was very harsh but I guess they have to be realistic and no sugar coat reality of things, so it was definitely hard to hear but I guess the reality is hard in general.  Sugar coating only misleads the heart, so even though it’s upsetting to hear, it had to be said I suppose.  It broke my heart to hear that there’s a high chance he might not make it now, I felt like we just can’t seem to catch a break from all this craziness.  Do we keep planning for a future with our son?  Or do we just put everything on pause in case the worst case scenario happens?  I was very torn and emotionally spent from everything, I needed time to just take in the news and reorganize my thoughts.  The doctors also suggest I stop going into work and so I’ll be working from home now until birth time.  Until then, I just have to keep Leo inside as long as possible and take it easy and hope the contractions don’t increase.  After a couple days of deep thinking, I decided to just keep having hope and proceed my plans for having a life with my son.  As each day passes with him still in my belly, it’s one day closer to a higher chance of his survival.  The phrase “Time is precious” never meant more to me until now.  We aren’t ready for you to come out yet Leo, you still have a lot of baking to do!

Yesterday I was very nervous going into Leo’s growth ultrasound.  The unknown is always scary, but luckily, after a long ultrasound session, it went well for the most part! He currently measures about 2lbs 14oz – 33% with a heart beat rate of 119bpm.  He is facing head down, so that’s a good sign for having a natural delivery, however if something comes up, a c-section is still a possibility.  They looked at his heart extensively and the Dr. said he’s concerned that one of his heart blood vessels might be dilated still, but it’s really hard to tell in the ultrasound, but if that’s the case, he’ll just need some extra treatment after birth.  Either way, Leo will most likely have a scan after he’s born anyways to take a better look at this heart and look at things that the ultrasound can’t pick up.  His stomach is still on the small side, which the doctor said is expected, but it’s not too much of a big issue yet.  Other than that, there are no new developments, which is a good thing.  Ultrasounds can’t detect every single birth defect, but at least for now, there’s no major issues that can be seen, and of course we won’t know what neurological issues he’ll have until he’s born as well.  So we just have to keep hoping for the minimal amount of issues possible.

Today I am 30 weeks and 1 day, and I had my doctor’s appointment with my OBGYN and Leo’s heart rate measured at 140 bpm (big jump from the day before) and my belly measured at 30.5cm.  Growth wise we are on track, which is a very good sign since they expected my belly to not be as big considering the circumstances, and the fact that I’ve only gained 2 pounds since my start weight.  But as long as baby is growing, that’s all that matters!  I’ll be going into my appointments every two weeks now, and in a month, I’ll have my next growth ultrasound and we will have a meeting with all the doctors, nursing staff, genetic counselor and doctor, and other members of the hospital staff from NICU department, etc. to go over the game plan for Leo’s arrival.  Around that time, I’ll be going in to L&D for fetal monitoring for an hour once a week as well to check up on Leo to make sure everything is okay in terms of amnio fluids, his heart rate, breathing, etc.  I am still getting about 6-8 random contractions a day, but at least it hasn’t increased in frequency.  So until then, I just have to relax and keep Leo inside as long as possible!  Stay in momma’s belly sweet Leo, at least 7 more weeks to go!  I am feeling hopeful, despite our new reality and scare from last week.  Also, during the ultrasound, Leo decides to be camera shy just like his sister, and didn’t want to show his face, so enjoy his lovely backside in the ultrasound images below!

Leo30WksGestation

30 Weeks Gestation

 “The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
Allan K. Chalmers

Journey to meet Leo continues…

Journey to Meet Our Little Prince

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou. “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis.

LilyBigSisterOn the morning of October 18th, I found out we’re having a precious baby and it brought me to tears of joy!  We decided that after two miscarriages, I cannot bare the pain of loss again and so this would be the last time we will try for a little miracle, a little sibling for Lily.  So once I saw that positive test, I instantly cried and was overwhelmed with the hopes and joys of what’s to come! However, I didn’t know we were about to embark a very challenging and emotional journey to meet our precious little addition to our family.   We went in for our first ultrasound when I was supposedly 7 weeks pregnant, and all I wanted to see was a strong heart beat.  When I watched the screen, and saw an empty gestational sac, my heart sank.  It was like deja vu all over again.  I couldn’t fight back the tears, and the voice of the radiologist saying that I’m possibly just earlier than I thought, and that this doesn’t necessarily mean anything, was very faint and distant to my ears, and I just felt like these words are just from a broken record. We waited a long agonizing 2 weeks till our follow up ultrasound. To our amazement and surprise, there on the screen was our precious baby, head, hands, toes and all! He had a strong heart beat rate of My heart exploded from happiness and my tears are now of joy! As we left the hospital, I told Khoa that I bet this one’s a boy because only boys can cause this much trouble already haha.

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9 Weeks 1 Day Gestation

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12 Weeks 5 Days Gestation

After this, of course, we started planning for the future and preparing for our 2nd child’s arrival! I experienced lots of morning sickness, probably a little worse than with Lily because I ended up losing about 8-9 pounds in the first 4 months of this pregnancy, and didn’t start gaining my appetite back until 5 months into the pregnancy. However, every time I got sick, I just felt that I’d gladly puke into the toilet knowing that this is a good thing and that our baby is just getting that much stronger and bigger! The worse I felt physically, the better I felt emotional. Strange how that works huh? Anyways, it was time for our first trimester NT screening. I came into this ultrasound worry free and was super excited to see our baby again! We did the screening and the radiologist at times would make sounds like “hmmm” and then look concerned now and then. I tried not to think too much of it, until she told us that she’s trying to measure the baby’s neck again because it’s very “borderline.” She then left and gave the images to the doctor, and they came back and told us that the baby tested positive for chromosomal issues. My heart sank… What does that mean? Our baby’s neck was measured at 3.6, which is 0.1 over the normal measurement. It means our baby had a 20% chance of a chromosome disorder, but look, there’s still 80% chance that everything will be ok! So immediately after the ultrasound, they sent us next door to see a genetic counselor where she told us all the possible chromosome disorders and birth defects that our baby could possibly have, and then gave us several testing options. It was very overwhelming and hard to hear. However, we decided to do a blood test, which is just a screening test but at least it’s non invasive and safer and is 99% accurate. The silver lining from doing this blood test is that we would find out the gender of our precious baby. We would get the results within 2 weeks, so until then, we just had to focus on that 80%, and the eagerness of finding out whether we’d be having baby brother or baby sister for Lily! All we can do is try our best to stay positive and have hope that our precious baby will be ok.

Leo18WksGestation

18 Weeks Gestation

2 weeks slowly came to pass, and I remember I was at work when I got the call from the genetics counselor. I picked up the phone, and she asked me where I was and if I can talk. I felt a little uneasy after hearing that…and so I stepped outside to talk, I can remember it was a nice sunny day too. She told me the results and said our baby tested positive for trisomy 18 and proceeded to tell me what that means and what to expect.  She told us most babies who do survive till birth, only live for a few hours, maybe a couple days at best, but they’ll have lots of birth defects, especially heart defects, and maybe 1% of babies live up to a year old.  Tears streamed down my face, I felt like all my hopes and dreams for our child has been ripped away from me, my heart shattered into tiny little irreparable pieces… I felt so much pain and sadness, for our baby boy.

LeoItsABoy

It’s A Boy!

We were giving the option to end the pregnancy, but we were allowed to do the amniocentesis test first, which is a diagnostic test and 100% accurate. Once we get the results from that, we can then make our final decision. Until the results came, so many questions and thoughts came into mind with so many difficult emotions to deal face.  We really wanted a son since it would be nice to have one of each, but another daughter would have been nice as well since Lily can have a little sister.  Regardless of gender, this is our baby, my son, my little miracle.  How can we give up on him just because his future is so uncertain, and would involve deep tragic pain and hardship?  We had to think about what’s best for not just us as a family, but for Lily too.  Do I want Lily to see us go through such hard times, and not fully understand what’s going, and why her baby brother is here but only possibly for a few hours and then never see him again?  Would we want to put ourselves through that heartache of having to bury our newborn?  I understand the reasons why people would choose that option, but I did not want to do anything that I would regret, and I definitely didn’t want to do anything that would lead to the unanswered questions of “what if…”.  Ultimately, we decided that no matter what the amnio test says, we will not give up on our son.   Even if I can hold him, and see him breathe and feel his warmth in my arms, just for a brief moment, the pain would be worth it.  I’ve loved him from the start, and I will love him to the end, and beyond.

I took the amnio test, and before doing so, they did another ultrasound.  From the ultrasound, our baby looked perfect!  There were no markers that showed any sign of chromosome disorders, even his neck size was perfect!  Just look at our son on that screen, moving, sucking his thumb, kicking, stretching, being so active, and normal, made my heart melt and put a huge smile to my face.  No matter what the tests says or what the outcome may be, I see him and he’s already perfect in my eyes.  It’s hard not to have our hopes up after seeing such a great ultrasound screening, but the genetics counselor told us that at this point, a normal ultrasound doesn’t mean much since 60% of these babies don’t show any signs yet.  However, it’s hard not to get carried away.  After all, I’m a hopeful person and focusing on the positive is what I do, so I allowed myself to just be in the moment and at that time, everything was just fine.

Finally another long and anticipated 2 weeks go by and I get the call.  The genetics counselor calls and tells us that our baby has been confirmed with Tetrasomy 18p, rather than Trisomy 18, and also making this a high risk pregnancy.  It is a super rare disorder with not much literature on it, and therefore we can only only wait and see how this will affect our son.  Our genetics counselor told me that because this is so rare, it is up to us to be prepared and educate ourselves the best we can, and that a normal pediatrician would not be familiar with this disorder, and therefore our baby would have to see a geneticists at a big hospital for all his pediatric needs.  The good news is that he will live longer and we can possibly have a good amount of time with him in this lifetime, and have a chance to make wonderful memories with him.  I am so so so grateful for that.  However, since the range of severity of this disorder is so broad, we can only hope for the minimal defects possible, and hope that he won’t have to struggle too much to have a happy and healthy life.  We know his life will be a challenging one, but it is up to us to make sure we do our research and provide him with the best care possible and love him and give him the life he deserves.

Leo22WksGestation

22 Weeks Gestation

So next up is the echocardiogram ultrasound, an extensive ultrasound that takes a closer and detailed look at the baby’s heart.  Due to this emotional rollercoaster we’ve been on, I told myself I’d go into this with no expectations and whatever they find, if anything, we will be able to handle it.  So after a long while with lots of silence and waiting while the radiologist did her thing, they told us that they found a few minor things.  The baby’s stomach is a little small but it’s nothing to be worried about for now.  His left hand was clenched at times, which is a sign of neurological issues, we just won’t know the degree of severity until he’s born.  Also at certain angles, it looked like there was a tiny hole in his heart, and that some of the blood vessels in his heart weren’t the right size, but if that’s the case, then the issues would be minor, nothing major.  I’m glad they didn’t find any major issues, but going from perfect ultrasound to this, it makes the situation more real.  I just hope no more issues develop, of if they do, it stays minor.  Here’s to hoping…and waiting…and wishing for the best.

PrettySunset

Enjoy every sunset and look forward to the next sunrise.

This journey so far has been incredibly emotion and difficult, filled with lots of joy and sadness.  I find myself crying now and then because of our situation, but then I feel guilty and sad that our son feels the pain in my heart and the sadness from my tears.  So after I go through the dips, I tell myself to be happy for him and to try to enjoy this journey and make happy memories, so he can feel how much I do love him, and how happy he already makes me, just by being there, kicking inside me, breathing, and being mine.  So, I chose to celebrate him and celebrate his process and milestones.

Leo_BoyOrGirlWe put together a little gender reveal party for our baby, and for those who couldn’t make it to the reveal, I put together this little video for them.  It’s hard to tell but it’s blue confetti.  Lily really liked to blow the confetti and see it fly everywhere and kept wanting to do it again!  I’m glad it was a fun activity for her and she even participated in the count down too before blowing the confetti!  I don’t know why the lighting is inconsistent but you get the idea!  Thanks Leilani for capturing this for us with your fancy slow-mo camera feature on your phone!

Also, here’s a video from our gender reveal celebration. Blue silly string and confetti poppers!!! Thanks Mieng for letting us use your phone for this slowmo video as well! Sorry it’s so dark…the sun was moving too fast for us!  I feel very lucky and grateful to have such wonderful people in our lives who love and care for us and are there to support us through this crazy journey.

I have my next ultrasound in a couple weeks.  Until then, I’m just going to take it one day at a time, and do things that makes me happy, to make my son happy.  I don’t understand why these things happen in life, and I don’t need to know why.  I just know that it happened, and I have to face it the best I can.  People often tell me how strong and brave I am, for making the decisions we make and for handling it the way we do.  Yet, I sometimes feel the complete opposite, LilyUmbrellaand I think that’s just human.  There’s this nice saying that goes “Strength of character isn’t always about how much you can handle before you break, it’s also about how much you can handle after you’ve broken.”  I do feel like I’ve been broken many times, from my 2 losses, and the multiple heart breaking news for our son, and I feel like my heart’s been broken many times and cannot be put back together as the darkness consumes me.  Lily is my brightest light and she is my strength.  She makes me brave and strong and gives me the will to move forward in life, with a smile on my face, and love in my heart.  Also, thanks to Khoa for being my rock and making sure I’m not going through this alone.  Soon, our son, our precious baby Leo, will be that light for me as well.  He’s already 26.5 weeks of the way there and will be here in no time!  =).  Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.  Without rain, there wouldn’t be rainbows.

5MonthsLeoBump

5 Months Baby Bump

6MonthsLeoBump

6 Months Baby Bump

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up. – Stephen Hawkings

I believe in unconditional love.
My adventures with my little prince Leo continues…

Holidays 2014

I’m a little behind on my blogging lately, but better late than never!  Here’s what we did during the holidays 2014!

This year for Thanksgiving I decided to take on the challenge of cooking my very first turkey!  I brined it the night before with broth and seasoning and gave that bird a salt rub down massage too haha.  It was pretty simple after that, just wash the turkey the next day when I’m ready to cook it and then put some season on it, stuff it with veggies , bay leaf and thyme, and surround the pan with veggies as well.  Then just let the oven do the rest of the work with the occasional basting every hour or so.  The turkey came out delicious and was a big success and I’m very glad I got to share it with some wonderful people!!  I’m definitely thankful for many things in my life, but most of all, I’m thankful to be going through this crazy journey of life with the people I love.

Turkey2014

In December, we took lily to the Queen Mary’s Chill for the first time to see the cool ice sculptures and walk around the Queen Mary as well.  There were 2 million pounds of ice sculptures, even a 10 foot ice slide, and a bunch of fun activities that Lily was unfortunately too young and small for, but we will definitely come back for her to enjoy them.  They had tubing, a carousel, swings, ice skating, and games too! The Ice Kingdom was 9 degrees inside and so they gave us all parkas to wear over our normal clothes, but be sure to bring gloves or else taking pictures in there will turn your hands into popsicles!  It was a very “cool” experience though =P.  We then took her to see some fun Christmas lights at IlluminOcean at Dana Point.  She loved going through the tunnel of lights where they had bubble stations and blew bubbles everywhere.  She also really liked looking at the light sculptures and pointing out all the sea creatures too!  It’s amazing how lights can bring so much joy to a toddle, it’s very nice to see her eyes light up from wonder and happiness =).

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Then all the Christmas festivities began and it was nice to be with all our family during this time of year. You can view more pictures from all our Christmas celebrations from this year HERE!

LilyChristmas2014

Christmas2014

For New Years, we took Lily to her second trip to the snow and had a fun little getaway at Lake Arrowhead with some friends!  We all stayed in a cozy little cabin and got to enjoy each other’s cooking and spend quality time with one another.  It was fun to see the kids play with each other and create wonderful new memories.  This is also the first time Lily was old enough to actually play in the snow, instead of just sit there and not know what to do.  She LOVED sledding, thanks Emmy for letting her play with it, and it was so cute to see her pull the sled back up the hill be herself and climb on, hold on tight and ready to sled down with the biggest smile and silliest giggle down the hill.  It melts me heart to see her have so much fun!  You can view more pictures from our trip HERE!

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LakeArrowhead2015

Turning 30!

This is a big year for us with lots of life milestones, but turning 30 is definitely a milestone that stands out for sure.  For my birthday this year, my work threw me a nice party, with a giant cupcake cake!  They totally went all out this year with decorations too!  Then I got to celebrate with my other half, since she come down from Canada so we can celebrate together!!  I then had a nice family day at the Irvine Great Park, then a nice intimate dinner at the Orange County Mining Company, which had an amazing sunset view of the city.  For Khoa’s birthday celebration, I threw him a raving dance party at our clubhouse with a bartender and DJ, with laser lights and tons of glow in the dark accessories.  We also had nice dinners with our families, still waiting on the dinner with Khoa’s parents for his birthday, but that will happen soon.  At the end of the day, parties are fun, but it’s all about being able to celebrate with the people who love you most.  Being surrounded by so many great people, feeling the love and care in the air, really makes you feel like you’re so rich in life.  Who needs presents when you have this lovely bunch of family and friends?  You guys make life so much more fun and better =).  Also, it’s so cute and fun to see Lily getting the hang of blowing out candles now, she can blow out all our candles from now on, we’re definitely gonna need help doing so!  Haha.

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Birthdays are always a good time to sit and reflect on what you’ve done with your life the past year or so and see what you’ve accomplished, or not accomplished haha, and milestone birthdays tend to make people heavily analyze what they’ve done with their lives since their last milestone birthday.  As for me, I feel like so much has happened in my 20’s, but the best part was obviously 2 years ago when my sweet Lily pad was born.  The last year in my 20’s was probably the toughest year of my life, and everything I knew about life and myself got challenged and I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever recover from it.  However, although it was the hardest year of my life, I am very grateful for my experiences and what came from it, because there’s a silver lining to everything, even if it may not seem clear at first.  I’ve found a new love and appreciation for life, and the phrase “cherish each moment” have never meant so much to me than it does now.  Life is about going on adventures with your love ones, battling the bumps on the road together, and getting through and onto the next adventure.  Creating fond new memories is what I aim to do in this next new chapter of my life and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for me.  Life isn’t perfect, but as long as I have my angels, my lily pad, and my love with me, I’m one lucky and happy gal! =)

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You can check out more pictures from my birthday HERE and from Khoa’s birthday HERE.  Also, check out this video of Lily, Emmy and Skye having the time of their lives at Khoa’s dance party bday!  They’re so stinking cute!!

Happy Father’s Day Khoa!

Happy Father’s Day to Khoa!!  Here’s how his day was from his words:

Oh my did I have the best father’s day weekend ever. Friday night Jackie suggested we let my mom watch Lily so we can have a nice peaceful dinner out. I said sure, I’ll give her a quick call. She politely declined and said she would call. Turns out, she never called her because my mom was in on some secret and already knew she’d be watching Lily! Sneaky sneaky. We had our dinner and when we got home, I was getting ready to relax when the doorbell rang. It was An… strange because usually I know when he’s going to pay us a visit. He had this look on his face like… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here… lol. Then Jackie hands me a piece of paper and says “Surprise!” Turns out a while back, she bought me tickets to this show, Hollywood Babble-On. I’ve listened to over 100 episodes of that popcast so I was super excited to finally be able to see it in person. It features Kevin Smith, writer/director of Jay and Silent Bob, Clerks, Mallrats, etc…, and Ralph Garmin, part of the Kevin and Bean show at KROQ. The show was even better in person, and I thank Jackie for sitting through it because I know it’s not her cup of tea. Also thanks to Steve Le for also sitting through it since it’s not really his thing either. An… enjoyed it so no thanks needed there! Hah jk, thanks An for being there. It was a small venue so afterwards, Ralph was just hanging out (thanks An for pointing that out) and I actually got a picture with him. As Jennifer and Alvina pointed out, I was so happy and star-struck lol. As if the night wasn’t great enough, Steve “proposed” for me to be his Best Man!

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Saturday started out with Father’s Day for my and Jackie’s dad and then a 1 year old Birthday Party. Afterwards, Jackie just told me to drive and gave me step by step directions as we went. Finally we pulled up to a Men’s Warehouse! Apparently they are having a BOGO free sale! She’s so sweet; she knows I have been wearing the same two suits for over 5 years and getting a new one is way past due. I chose two, in my opinion, really nice suits that will fit many occasions. I’m really excited to put them on and flaunt their awesomeness around town.

Come Sunday morning, Jackie had another surprise for me! Again she gave me step by step directions on where to go and we finally ended up at the Discovery Science Center where they just started their Mythbusters exhibit! My baby knows me and my nerdy side so well. They had a stage show that was pretty cool; they shot a paintball gun at a target and asked if we all thought it was possible for a person to dodge it or not. The whole premise was to explain the Scientific Method and how there are so many variables that you have to have very deliberate and controllable tests. The variables they decided to experiment with is a person’s reaction time and the distance (simulated by delay) of the gun. Long story short, they had someone up there with a riot shield and they eventually dodged the paintball given a 1 sec delay. The rest of the exhibits were pretty cool; some notable ones were a “blind driving test” where you just have a wheel and pedals in front of you and someone else is looking at a screen trying to give you directions. I was really bad at that. Another one where you can see if you can pull a tablecloth off a table without pulling all of the glassware with it (in this case it was plasticware). There were many others; I would highly recommend anyone to check it out.

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After the Discovery Science Center, we went to eat for my Grandpa’s father’s day celebration. After that, my mom took Lily and Jackie said we can do whatever I felt like. A movie seemed like the perfect way to close out this weekend. We went to the theatre expecting to watch Godzilla but it was sold out. We went to our 2nd choice which was a million days to die in the west. It was really funny, but I don’t think the movie (as a whole) was as good as Ted, which was Seth Macfarlane’s last movie. It was pretty cool that Ralph Garmin had a few lines in the movie though since we just met him in person on Friday! There was definitely some memorable lines that I see Jackie and me repeating to each other from time to time.

Finally for dinner, we decided to go to the Anaheim Packing House. It is a new, hip place 10 minutes walking distance from our house. We went on Saturday night too and saw that there was a Shabu Shabu place so we decided to come back on Sunday to try it. It was pretty darn good, but the only thing is they don’t have traditional Ponzu or Goma because they consider themselves a “hot pot” restaurant. After eating there and seeing their offerings, I really would consider them a Shabu place rather than a Hot Pot place. Either way, it was good eats. After that we got some really good popsicles that were dipped in our choice of chocolate and toppings. We tried to go there on Saturday but the line was out the door. We had much better luck on Sunday night. I’m really excited that the Anaheim Packing District opened up but am a bit scared at how close it is to our house. There are so many good food choices there that I may go broke and fat pretty quickly.

The night ended with Game of Thrones, as we both were pretty excited to watch the Finale. Jackie had one last surprise for me; an official Game of Thrones beer. It turns out I actually had some at the b-day party on Saturday but it was still a really nice surprise! You’re the best honey! I know she went through a lot of trouble finding it and hiding it from me so I appreciate that very much!

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Thanks again for the awesome Father’s Day honey! You really went all out and I really appreciate it! I love you my sun and stars, forever and a half.

One last shout out to the reason I am a father to begin with. Lily, you are one of the biggest and best things that has ever happened to me. I am so honored to call you my daughter and to be called your “dada”. You force me to be a better version of myself and I love you for that. I am constantly filled with happiness every time you smile or run to give me a hug. I love it when you  surprise me by doing something amazing that I didn’t know you could. I am really excited knowing that you will always be growing and learning new things and making me the proudest father alive. Today is Father’s day, but to me, every day is Lily day. Oh and how can I forget, thank you for making this for me at school 🙂

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Thank you to my wonderful family: Jackie and Lily. You light up my life!

 

Happy 2nd Birthday Lily!

Happy 2nd birthday to my sweet little Lily pad!!  Lily is about 23 pounds (8 percentile) and stretches about 34 inches tall (average percentile).  At her 2 year check-up, she got a finger prick to test her hemoglobin and lead and the doctors said her levels are really good, and she got 1 shot in the thigh and she cried at first but then stopped and was a happy camper shortly after!  She even said thank you to the nurses and waved bye and when asked how old she was, she’ll put up 1 finger and say “TWO!!” haha!  Her pediatrician said she is developing really nicely and acts like a 3 year old instead of 2 year due to her openness to everyone and how cooperative she was.  She listened really well and is talking so much, and picks up on language super fast!  She’s starting to go through a mimic phase and will copy her friend’s actions and she loves to hold her friend’s hands!  She’s getting smarter each day and is growing so fast!  Where did the time go baby girl?  She also started potty training 2 weeks ago and is making really great progress!!  She’s at the point where she’s really good at telling us she needs to go and we take her and she actually goes!  Her favorite phrase right now is “I go poopoo choilet!”  I love the way she says toilet haha.  “Choilet!” She talks so much now and her vocabulary is exploding!  Just last week she knew the word “octagon!”  We are so proud of her and all her accomplishments in her first 2 years of life!

On Friday, June 6, Lily had a little birthday celebration at her school.  We had a special circle time with all her classmates where her teacher, Mr. Monica, showed her classmates 3 photos of her (1 of her at 1 months old, 1 years old, and now 2 years old).  They had a special music box that plays the Happy Birthday song when you wind it, but Lily didn’t want to wind it so we just sang to her without that.  Then we all went to sit down at the table where the kids got to eat sugar free cookies and apple slices!  The sugar free cookies were actually pretty good, who would have thought?  Haha.  I also made origami lilies from various designed scrapbook paper, and used floral tape to tape down little party favor bubble wands inside the flower.  I tied a gold ribbon and tag to the top of the bubble wand, and the tag says “Roses are red, violets are blue, blow some bubbles, Lily is 2!”  All the adults seemed to really like it, they weren’t going to pass them out to the kids until they leave for the day, but I’m hoping they liked the bubbles, who wouldn’t?  Lily also got to enjoy some refreshing watermelon before it was time to go home from school!  She had a great day celebrating at school!!

On Sunday, it was Lily’s actual birthday, and that’s when all our family and friends gathered to celebrate our little angel turning 2 years old!  I made all the desserts with the help of my lovely assistant Sarah!  Desserts included milk and white chocolate mousse, tiramisu, panna cotta, chocolate kiss nutter butter acorns, macarons (green tea, raspberry, and fruity pebbles), and I made this balsamic mozzarella cheese tomato appetizers too.  My aunt made chocolate dipped strawberries and had the creative idea of sticking them on the top of pineapples!  My super talented and crafty dad made all the wooden dessert stands too!  I also made Lily’s display cake as well!  We ordered the usual lot of Vietnamese food (nem nuong, fried noodles, egg rolls, banh beo), and my family made some clear noodles, soy, fried rice, pasta salad and cut up fruits too.  Lily had a super great time this year because she’s older and she had a blast running around the grass with the balloon sticks and playing with all the other kids!  I love watching her play and laugh her little tooshie off.  Her happiness is my happiness!


My friend Mieng also did a really nice photoshoot of Lily for me for photos to be displayed at her birthday party!  I was also able to use them to print out thank you magnets to send to everyone as well!  The photos came out better than I could imagine and I’m so grateful to have these beautiful photos that I can share and hold onto forever.  So special thanks to Mieng for all your talents!  We are lucky to have you! =) You can view more pictures from her birthday party from my simple camera and photos that Mieng took HERE!

Look at all the presents!  She was so excited to open them but there was so much that she just wanted to play and got tired of opening them, so I had to step in and help her open them all haha.  She’s really spoiled with so much love by everyone!  She deserves all of it and so much more!

Lastly, Khoa selected a bunch of video clips from Lily’s past year and Jennifer put them all together in this lovely video!  Thank you Khoa for combing through the hundreds of video clips and thank you Jennifer for creating this video that we will be able to share with Lily when she’s older!  It’s so wonderful to be able to watch our sweet baby girl grow from being a 1 year old baby to a 2 year old toddler! Get ready to smile, laugh, and fall in love with Lily all over again in the video below!  She is the greatest joy of my life! Lily I wish you the most wonderful 2nd birthday!  I love watching you grow everyday, and you made me the happiest mommy in the whole world!  You brighten my days, my life,  my soul.  Baby I love you so much with all of my heart, forever and beyond!

Lily Turns Two from J.N. on Vimeo.