Monthly Archives: October 2016

Walk to Remember & Wave of Light 2016

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ocwalktoremember2016-5The wonderful organization Forever Footprints puts together a 5k Walk to Remember every year in October (pregnancy and infant loss awareness month), in honor of all our babies who were now in heaven.  They have been doing this for maybe 12 years now and this is my first year participating.  It was an emotionally driven morning but it was very spiritually strengthening at the same time.  They had a very beautiful and emotional memorial service and they called out all the angels names as well and you get a white rose for each angel.  There was a memorial wall that had all the names of our angels on it’s well and it was just so amazing to see.  ocwalktoremember2016-4A talented musician named Peter Brandon wrote and sang the most beautiful song called Brand New Wings in honor of our babies that really touched my heart and made me cry like a baby as well.  This was the first time in 3 years that my angels got a memorial service, I don’t know why it took so long, but I finally got the courage to do it, especially with the help of my loved ones. Thanks everyone for all the love and support today at the 5k OC Walk to Remember in honor of my angels and all the other angels out there. I never got a chance to name my babies, I never even got to know their gender, but I always called them Angel1 and Angel2, and so that is their names, I will walk every year for Angel1 & Angel2 Ngo.  “We walk the steps they never got to take.”  I love you so much my angels, I hope I made you proud!

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I love my angels and miss them so much, and on October 15th, we honor them in the Wave of Light. They will always be in my heart with every beat it takes.  It’s always bittersweet for me on days like this because I’m sad from the pain and loss I feel from not having my babies here with me, but I know they are in a much better place looking down on me, protecting me and my loved ones, and guiding me through life.  The pain never goes away, and honoring my angels is always hard to do, only because it always get swept with emotions.  It’s hard for me to keep it together, but therapeutic and when I allow those emotions to come out, it’s therapeutic and I feel connected to my angels.  I am so thankful for all the people in my life who lit candles for my angels and honored them with me.  I love you my angels, so so much.

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Happy 16 Months Leo!

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leooct2016leoexplorecupHappy sweet 16 months to my sweet little prince Leo (sorry for posting this so late Leo!)!  Leo weighs in at 20lbs and stretches about 31 inches long.  Leo is getting so much stronger each day and constantly making progress in his developments.  He had his GI appointment and the doctor prescribed him some medication to help with his chronic constipation.  She said that he needs to clean out his colon and he has to be on this medication everyday for about a year to get his system use to going number two once a day.  His colon is probably enlarged due to the constipation and holding it in for days at a time, so he needs to allow himself a lot of time to get his colon back down to a normal size. She thinks that maybe if he poops more regularly, maybe he won’t have a tummy ache (even though he doesn’t see to be fussy about it, maybe his tummy has been aching) and maybe this will cause him to want to eat and try solids.  Overall, the medication is working and he’s still not taking solids, but it’s going to be a process.  The OT said she’s never met any non g-tube that’s be this orally defensive before.  I hope you start to learn to eat solids soon Leo because food is SO enjoyable haha!  Leo did have a great accomplishment though and that he’s starting to hold his own bottle during feedings!  He’s not confident yet, it’s more like me propping his hands up and holding his hands in place, but it sets the motion and he would hold it for a minute or two by himself, and sometimes he’ll even tip the bottle up himself to get the last of the milk as well!  He is also tucking his legs under him more when he’s on the floor on his tummy, and he’ll rock back and forth sometimes in that position too.  It seems like he’s really wanting to crawl soon, fingers crossed!!  He’s also getting stronger at standing.  Sometimes he’ll pull himself upright but he still needs a lot of assistance and support when standing, and he’s still pretty stiff, but he’s improved a lot just in this last month.  The two PT sessions a week now really helps!  He also does this ridiculously cute thing where he’ll put his arm up and his hand on his forehead whenever he’s tired or doesn’t like something, and if he really doesn’t like something then he’ll pout, but it’s just so super cute I cannot resist his doe eyes when he does it!  All his baby steps are huge leaps in my eyes and I cannot be more proud of my petite prince Leo!

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lilyflowerlilyleportoct2016Lily just so bright and sweet as ever!  Lily is learning a lot at LePort and even though her Spanish class isn’t offered this quarter, she is still reciting numbers and words she learned and is very proud of it!  She is always super silly and likes to use her giant imagination and create lots of elaborate stories during playtime.  She is very loving and sweet to Leo still and still continues to give him lots of hugs and kisses and is still so good at making him laugh and smile.  She also had a recent school field to Zoomars Petting Zoo in San Juan Capistrano for the first time and she had such a blast!  She loves riding the school bus and she really enjoyed all the animals!  She liked feeding all the guinea pigs, goats, and pigs, and she even got to brush a goat’s fur.  She also conquered her fear of horses/ponies and rode on a horse with no tears at all!  I am so proud of her and she even had so much fun and waves hello to me several times during the ride.  There was giant corn kernel pit at the zoo too and she loved making corn angels in it haha.  Lily really likes songs on the radio and is singing along to them more, I love her sweet soft little voice!  She still has a slight accent when she says certain words, it’s pretty cute and unique haha.  I don’t know where she gets it from…but it’s cute regardless!  She’s so silly and always bursting with so much sunshine and happiness, you just help but smile and love her even more.  I love you so much my precious princess, my Lily pad!  Keep on shining oh so bright!!